6 Months on T and counting..

Time flies, whether you're having a good experience or a bad one. I've been 6 months on my hormones and so mittle ( much and little ) has happened. So let's get the important part over with. 

Updates : 

-Way more leg hair. Here goes an updated pic..


Now imagine this leg with no hair at all. That has been me my whole life. I am extremely hairless, but now hair is apart my daily life. 

- More aroused... that never changes. 

- My emotions are everywhere. I definitely am just irritated more , I honestly don;t think that will change. I used to have anger problems and they're slowly coming back, which sucks. I am doing my best to control it, and for the most part I do. It only comes out when someone is constantly doing the same thing to annoy me. Other than that I am a happy boi. 

- My voice has dropped , it's dropping at a slow pace but I believe it's the right pace for me. 

6 Months has been just that to me. 

I am still have difficulties with not having a surgery date, not having my name changed and with my gender marker. All the legal processes you have to do to be who you want is exhausting. But has to be done regardless. 

I am two weeks away from being 7 months and I am excited for more. 

I'll update on my 7 month mark, hopefully by then I have a surgery date and date for court!

Birth name..

I literally am beginning to feel nauseous when I hear my birth name. 

As much as I love my birth name, and what it meant to me. How it came about, which wasn't very creative, and what it meant to my parents. I.. I don't know. I associate it with misgendering. I associate it with struggle, I associate it with depression, and hate. I associate it with every person that thought it was funny to call me that despite what I asked them to call me. 

It brings back memories of my dad mistreating me and every tear I had shed for feeling confused. I love my story, I am grateful for my past. But I just don't want  to be sad anymore. I want to feel accepted, and just care free for once. Sometimes I want to live stealth and not have anyone know what my struggle is. 

I know that time will come soon, but for now. I want to be referred to my "preferred" name. And nothing else. 

My birth name is not a joke, its not a secret, it's not an insult, its just nothing. It's not me. 

Not anymore.