"This is the time to be selfish"

I was talking to a friend the other day on my transition and some personal things going on in my life in regards to my love life, family, etc. And the one thing they had to say to me was "this is the time to be selfish". 

When they said that I didn't quite agree with or understand why they would say that. I always try to live my life without being selfish. I like to do for others more than for myself. People would never know when something is going on with me because I don't like to burden others with my problems. Unless they were my partner or someone I'm intimate with. 

And after hearing my friend explain why they said that. Or what they thought my potential was.  I realized they were right. 

I feel sometimes well most times during a transition ( I speak from my experience ) I'm being pressured to accommodate other people. I try to speak "manly" or look more masculine. I attempt to fit in socially and speak on things I don't care about like sports, and cars. I even accept misgendering and misuse of pronouns because I don't want to embarrass anyone or call them out publicly. I even allow Cisgender folks to believe they have the right to share their opinion on trans issues/struggles. When that's not their place. 

And for once I'm learning to be selfish and understand the importance of self love. 

My transition is my transition. They are my experiences, and wants. NOT everyone will like what I do, and I will lose people along the way. I will disappoint others and never come close to meeting their expectations. But whats most important is me not losing me. I've always been proud of who I am, no matter what identity I've claimed. And I won't change that now. 

Being selfish during your transition is okay. You have already went through a time period where you had to tell yourself you weren't who you thought you were. You had to come out, as if your identity was a gran announcement, and while doing so you live in fear or constant risk of being harmed. And you while trying to mold yourself and learn about this beautiful being you're transitioning into. ( Physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally.) You still care about others. About how they feel about what YOU are doing with yourself, when you want how you want. 

Be selfish. Love yourself and have no regrets. You deserve to love you.